Kind of like ratemyteachers.com...only not

Today, I'm going to rate my classes. Why? 'Cause I want to. Also, I can't really think of anything more interesting to blog about, and it's been more than a week since I blogged last. Any and all readers I might have had at one point in time will have dropped off by now, and I have complete freedom to say whatever I like. Heh.

Name: College Algebra - Local Community College
Teacher: Mrs. B
Grade: B
Comments: Let me share with you this amazing analogy which I figured out for math classes. Let's say you wanted to make a cake, Ok? So, you measure out the flour, sugar, eggs, and vanilla into a bowl; then, instead of mixing the ingredients together and sticking it in the oven, you turn around and measure the ingredients again, only this time for a cake double the size. Let's say you do this about six times, Ok? What do you think about this? All this measuring and just letting the ingredients just sit around is kind of pointless, yes? Maybe even useless? EXACTLY! MATH CLASSES ARE USELESS! You combine numbers, add, multiply, subtract, divide, and what do you have at the end? NUMBERS! There isn't a darned thing you can do with just numbers! Unless you're a statician. But then I wonder about your sanity anyways. "But, but, but..." you whine, "but, but you need it for science!" Then quit teaching kids that the grass is green every year, and instead teach them the math necessary to figure out how the earth goes around the sun during the time when you would be teaching them that the earth goes around the sun. Or that our environment is in deadly peril. You only need to teach it to us once. Oh, yes, the class itself. It's Ok. Mrs. B is reportedly pretty tough, but she's nothing I can't handle. I rather wish I'd had the opportunity to ask around though, as it would've been nice to have scored a teacher who didn't make you show all your work in a particular way. Yes, I realize that showing and doing your work is important. It would just be nice if she didn't require it.

Name: Grammar and Composition - The Potter's School*
Teacher: Mrs. T
Grade: B-
Comments: I wanted to take this class because of the grammar portion - I've never had a good class/textbook in intermediate/advanced grammar, so I pretty much do it all by ear. So I was kind of disappointed when all of the composition and at most of the grammar so far in this class has been below my skill level. I had expected the composition part, as I've always been really advanced for my age group in that area (as in taking college-level comp. classes my freshman year of high school), but I had been kind of hoping for advanced grammar. Not stuff I should have mastered by the end of eigth grade. Mrs. T. is an excellent teacher, however, and that makes up for quite a bit of the content disappointment - she comes up with relatively interesting assignments, and, for at least three out of the four assignments we've done so far, she's left the comp. subjects (mostly) up to us. We did have one "what I did over the summer" comp >.<>
*The Potter's School - the online school in which I take quite a few of my classes, referred to as "TPS" from now onwards.

Name: Shakespeare - TPS
Teacher: Mrs. Z
Grade: B
Comments: In this case, I like most of the class. The general questions prompt me to think about the literature in new ways, the creative assignments are great fun (even if they do go a little overboard in the "tell all" diary entries of famous characters - I would've loved to see a "tell all" diary of one of Lear's knights about Goneril's hospitality, instead of shuttling between Goneril, Cornwall, Edmund, and Kent/Cordelia), and none of my classmates have been uncivil to me. However, I would like more material in class about the literature. So it rates a B.

Name: Latin II - TPS
Teacher: Mr. S
Grade: A
Comments: Good class, good teacher. Personally, I liked him better as a Greek and Roman Literatures teacher, but then I liked Greek and Roman Literatures better than Latin anyways. The only problem I'm having with this class is myself. I'm starting to really question why I'm taking this class, and I'm not able to come up with any good answers. Sure, Latin is more interesting than a lot of other languages. But if I'm taking it for that, then I should be taking Greek. To me, Greek is a lot more interesting and poetic than Latin. It won't help me a great deal in a future medical career - I'm the queen of figuring out weird ways to connect and memorize things that you'd never have thought could be connected. It will help on the SAT, but I've already had a year of Latin. Wouldn't that be enough, if I were really worried about that? Because of this newfound loss of incentive, I'm starting to behave with apathy towards this class. Don't get me wrong - I'll pass. Mr. S has it set up to where I can grind the night before class, get through the class, take the quiz after class, and keep up reasonably good grades. Sure, I bet he'll spring something on us in the spring semester that will completely blow my well-laid plans out of the water, and expose my lack of studying, but if I keep up my grades during the first semester then I think I'll be able to get through without flunking out. This attitude, however, is not acceptable. I need to keep up a good grade in this class, even if it's just for my academic record. Also, I should be working my hardest in whatever I do. As I mentioned before, the root of my apathy lies, I believe, in the fact that I won't have anything to do with Latin after I get through the class - I won't have any use for the knowledge of this language. So what I need to do is set a goal to work towards, something that will interest me. Something that will make me actually remember my vocabulary. Translate the book of Hebrews or I John? Maybe. Maybe I'll try to translate a book of the Aeneid. Of course it will have to be something above my level, but that's what I'm best at. Working at something completely above my level, bringing myself up to that level, and excelling at it. I'll have to have a think on it.

Name: Anatomy and Physiology - TPS
Teacher: Mrs. W
Grade: A
Comments: I'm actually enjoying this class more than I expected. Mrs. W isn't what I would normally peg a "good teacher", but she's just one of those people who has a great excitement for a subject and, instead of making you want to run as far away as possible, drags you along with her until you're excited about it too. Even if it is the way the psuedostratified epithelial tissue in your bladder works. Psuedostratified epithelial tissue is exciting, darnit! She does take a lot of her test questions from outside the textbook, but that's Ok. That just encourages me to work my rear off and learn everything about the subject that I can. The textbook, when you look at all the outside resources, is a little insufficient anyways. I must admit that this has been the most enjoyable and interesting science class that I've taken in high school to date. For once I can actually put some of the information to use. Semi-use. Pulling on your skin and naming all the different layers is a use, right? The point, and this is what makes it different than Latin for me, is that I can see how everything works, and how this might be semi-useful for the average person. Semi-useful works for me--semi-useful is usually the most interesting.

Cliches, Part I

Today, while I was looking on the Discussion Board at Writer's Window (link at right), I found this hilarious site:

Stupid Plot Tricks

Some favorites from The Bad Guy:

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.

12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.

43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.

49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.

51. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.

76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)

92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways, and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)

98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstances have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.

109. I will see to it that plucky young lads/lasses in strange clothes and outlander accents shall regularly climb some monument in the main square of my capital and denounce me, claim to know the secret of my power, rally the masses to rebellion, etc. That way, the citizens will be jaded in case the real thing ever comes along.

133. If I find my beautiful consort with access to my fortress has been associating with the hero, I'll have her executed. It's regrettable, but new consorts are easier to get than new fortresses, and maybe the next one will pay attention at the orientation meeting.

139. If I'm sitting in my camp, hear a twig snap, start to investigate, then encounter a small woodland creature, I will send out some scouts anyway just to be on the safe side. (If they disappear into the foliage, I will not send out another patrol; I will break out the napalm.)

140. I will instruct my guards to look for the chamber pot when checking a cell that appears empty. If it's still there, the prisoner has escaped, and they may enter and search for clues. If the chamber pot is not there, then either the prisoner is perched above the lintel waiting to strike them with it, or he decided to take it as a souvenir (in which case he is deeply disturbed and poses no threat). Either way, there's no point in entering.

142. If I have children and subsequently grandchildren, I will keep a three-year-old grandchild near me at all times. When the hero enters to kill me, I will ask him to first explain to her why it's necessary to kill her beloved grandpa. When the hero launches into an explanation that's way over her head, that will be her cue to pull the lever and send him into the pit of crocodiles. After all, small children like crocodiles almost as much as Evil Overlords, and it's important to spend
quality time with the grandkids.

151. I will not set myself up as a god. That perilous position is reserved for my trusted lieutenant.

177. If a scientist with a beautiful and unmarried daughter refuses to work for me, I will not hold her hostage. Instead, I will offer to pay for her future wedding and her children's college tuition.

178. If I have the hero cornered and am about to finish him off and he says "Look out behind you!!" I will not laugh and say "You don't expect me to fall for that old trick, do you?" Instead I will take a step to the side and half turn. That way I can still keep my weapon trained on the hero and scan the area behind me. If anything was heading for me, it will now be heading for him.

207. Employees will have conjugal visit trailers which they may use provided they call in a replacement and sign out on the timesheet. Anyone caught making out in a closet and leaving their station unmanned will be shot

220. If I have a single vulnerability, I will fake a different one -- for example, ordering all mirrors removed from the palace, screaming and flinching whenever someone accidentally holds up a mirror, etc. In the climax when the hero whips out a mirror and thrusts it at my face, my reaction will be "Hmm...I think I need a shave."

I'll post my favorites from the section for the hero in the next section. Meanwhile, go read it all (as it's all really hilarious). The Queen of Randomness comands you.

Epistaxis

Today I'm staying away from the more philosophical, visceral, and whateveral topics which I've posted on, instead focusing on a most sophisticated quarry: the nosebleed, or epistaxis. Recently (read: for the past six months), I have been having nosebleeds frequently for no apparent reason. I have been putting up with them patiently, even when they interefered with other activities I was actively trying to pursue. And just for your information-if you're playing the violin and your nose starts bleeding, don't let the blood dry on your instrument. However, a couple nights ago I was woken up from a very deep, restful sleep by a nosebleed, and that was the straw which broke the camel's back-you can mess with my violin, interfere with my schoolwork, and muck up my meals, but don't play around with my sleep, darnit. Once I'm asleep, I stay asleep, thankyoukindly. So I decided to play the detective and do some research on the Wide Wonderful World of internet to figure out what was happening. I came up with these three gems, from which I'm deriving my source information.

Types of Nosebleeds

Most nosebleeds (anterior nosebleeds) start in the lower septum (the thingamabob separtating your nostrils), which contains delicate blood vessals located close to the surface. As these blood vessals are delicate and located close to the surface, they are easily "broken by a blow to the nose or the edge of a sharp fingernail." (AAO-HNS, para. 2). In the case of these nosebleeds, blood will flow only out of one nostril, and blood will most likely not flow down the back of your throat if you're sitting or standing up. These, apparently, are your every-day, easy-to-stop sort of nosebleed. A more rare form of nosebleeds (posterior nosebleeds) "comes from deep in the nose and flows down the back of the mouth and throat even if the patient is sitting up or standing." (Ear, Nose & Throat, para. 3). These occur when a large blood vessel is broken, happen more often in the very old and the very young, and are generally more serious than anterior nosebleeds. With these suckers, blood will flow down the back of your neck even when you're sitting and standing up.

Causes of Nosebleeds

According to two of my three sources (the third mostly repeats the other two), nosebleeds can be caused by:

*Picking your nose
*Allergies and infections that lead to picking your nose
*Dryness
*Injury
*Vigourous nose blowing (which may rupture blood vessels in the very old and the very young)
*Genetic clotting disorders
*Tumors
*Atherosclerosis ("hardening of the arteries" - most common in elderly people)
*High blood pressure
*Sticking foreign objects up your nose

Conclusion

My particular brand of nosebleed, is, I believe the anterior sort, as it's only flowed down the back of my neck once (when I was standing up). That was, I might add, spectacularely disgusting. You might want to try it some time. As I'm an otherwise-healthy teenager, I'm going to rule out all of the causes that pertain mostly to the very old and the very young, which leaves me with picking my nose, tumors, dryness, injury, a genetic clotting disorder, and sticking stuff up my nose. As I neither pick my nose, hit my face, nor stick foreign objects up my nose on a regular basis (and please remember that these have been happening frequently), I'm left with tumors, a genetic clotting disorder, and dryness. This isn't (and hasn't) happened to anyone else in my family, so the genetic bit is out, and I'm just going to ignore the tumors bit until all else fails. That leaves me with dryness - which, as I just moved from Alaska to Southern Arizona, makes sense. So I'm going to grab a humidifier to put in my room and start drinking more water. If that doesn't work, and I'm still having nosebleeds frequently for seemingly no reason at all, I will, as reccomended by Ear, Nose and Throat Associates of Corpus Christi, visit my doctor.

Finally, a general health announcement:

What to do When a Nosebleed Occurs

1. Blow your nose. I know the other sites say not to, but as an experienced nosebleed-stopper, I say to blow it once. Then leave it alone
2. Pinch the soft part of your nose together for at least two minutes by the clock (you'll just have to start all over again if you let go early and it starts bleeding again). I would suggest breathing through your mouth at this point in time, although some might disagree with me. Breathing through your ears is supposedly a very beneficial experience.
3. While you're pinching your nose, clean up your face. This is usually the part that does the most towards making me feel better.
4. After two minutes have passed, let go of your nose and see if blood comes gushing out again. If not, great, do a little touch up of make-up or whatever, and go on your merry way. If it does start coming out again, hold again for five minutes by the clock. This should clear it up. If not, then you might want to go see a medical authority. (You know: Nurse. Doctor. Me.)

Revelation 18:10

Recently, I reread (for the fourth or fifth time) Alas, Babylon by Pat Frank, and enjoyed it more than ever. The book inspired two pieces of writing (three if you count this), so at the current moment it's in my good books (terrible pun intended). Here's the links in case all of my devoted readers wish to see them:

Short - http://english.unitecnology.ac.nz/writers/writing.php?id=42565

Poem - http://english.unitecnology.ac.nz/writers/writing.php?id=42511

Or you could just go to the Window (link in "Other Places To Be"), go to "Read Published Writing" and type "Excelsior" in the search bar. It's "The Little Pink Box" and "The Thousand Year Night". I'm reasonably happy with TYN (although I suspect some of my friends are starting to question my sanity), but, IMHO, "Little Pink Box" was only so-so. The ending was too obvious. Drat it.

*cough* Back on topic, Alas Babylon. In one scene, Randy (protagonist) and Lib (girlfriend) were alerted that Florence (Western Union lady) appeared to be in distress. When they go over to see what happened, they find that Florence's cat, Sir Percy, had eaten her parrot, Anthony. Also, her angelfish had died because the electricity had gone out because of the catastrophe the book centers around (leaving the aquarium unheated), which added to her distress. One comment that Randy makes, on the newly reinforced rule of the survival of the fittest, was:

" 'The common guppy lives. So does the tough catfish...That's the way it is and that's the way it's going to be.' " (Frank, Alas, Babylon, p. 176)

and when applying it to his own life

"Walking back to his own house, Randy said, 'Florence is a guppy, a nice, drab little guppy. That's why she'll survive.'
'What about you and me?' Lib said.
'We're going to have to be tough. We're going to have to be catfish.' "(Frank, Alas, Babylon, p. 177)

Florence, before the Russians had nuked the US, was a person who "existed" and no more. Randy and Lib had been the sort of stand-out people who garnered attention because of their brains, talents, and general sucess at making a sucess of life. With this background information, I think I may assume that Mr. Hart was saying that those who generally don't make a grand "sucess" out of their lives (as according to society's standards) find it easier to go through crises then your average sucessful person. Why? Possibly because everyday life is tougher for these people, and thus they build a coating around themselves which helps them to squeeze through the major crises. Maybe people in general tend to treat those whom we see as being sucessful better than those whom we see as having fallen short of their potential, or as not having worked hard enough to make a "sucess" out of their lives. Maybe laziness can give people an edge; of course, this depends on how one defines laziness. Is laziness the opposite of self-discipline? Or is that which is termed "laziness" simply a lack of ambition? I believe that it depends on the person (or character, as in this case). In Florence Whechek's case, she simply didn't have the ambition - nor the ability (possibly) - to go farther than she had with her life. Randy and Lib had the opportunity, ability and pressure of their parents and peers to steer them through life. They probably didn't have the unconcious struggle to get through the day which people like Florence had, and, when a great disaster came, they were less able to keep some of their struggles under the surface - they simply didn't have the practice. Interesting.

I know I'm going to look at this a year from now and think "What? How did I get there?" Heh.



(Not so) Random Quote of the Day:

And the kings of the earth, who have committed fornication and lived deliciously with her, shall bewail her, and lament for her, when they shall see the smoke of her burning, Standing afar off for the fear of her torment, saying, Alas, alas, that great city Babylon, that mighty city! for in one hour is thy judgment come.

- Revelation 18:9-10, KJV

Bah Humbug

I had a bit ready to post on Alas, Babylon, then my computer froze. Of course I hadn't saved it, so I lost everything I'd written.

And now, I'm sick, so I'm not going to be posting anything for the next couple of days.

Bah humbug shmumbug.

And here, children, are the mutants...

I've found that the first thing most people say when they meet me is: "You're tall." Well gee, thanks. I never knew that before - after all, I'm only 6ft tall. Another thing people often comment on is my weight, as I'm a stick. All this isn't a problem, because some people just aren't able to figure out a decent conversation starter, so they start on that. Slightly annoying, but not really something worth worrying about. However, it does bug me when people figure out that I'm smart and start looking at me funny. Or try to treat me like the dirt under their feet. What, I'm allowed to be a standout in either my body or my brains, but never both? It's not my fault I'm tall enough to be valuable on a basketball team, and have been taking (college-level) classes at my community college since I was 13. At which time I was a freshman in high school. Oh, I'm sorry, it is - I'm not staying up to who-knows-when, not sitting in front of my TV all day, and not killing my brain cells and my body by going on drugs or being some guy's free whore. Bad on me. Really, it's not even the people who look at me weird that get me - they're considerably less annoying than the creeps who try to pretend that they're better (cooler) than me because they have a "life". I have a few good friends whom I would do anything for, and who would do anything for me. What I don't have are 59 acquaintances who would drop me like a hot potato if I don't conform exactly to their rigid set of social standards. And that is obviously what I've always wanted and never ever been able to get because I'm just slow that way. On purpose.

Flower Power

Here's some pictures my little brother Tim took in our backyard:







Lovely!